Minnie the Moocher (songfic kinda)
by Starryowl7
Summary: AU Set in the 1930's and in America, (F/n) is a prostitute, but she gives the money to people less fortunate than her. Arthur was her latest victim, but it didn't seem as bad as all of the other times. ENGLAND X READER (mentions Switzerland, T for mentioned sex Yes it's an oldie, but I can't help but love it!)


(Kinda a singfic, describes the girl in the song.)

_ was what people would call a gold digger. Stealing men's money after a one night stand. She always succeeded with this since she would go to different areas every time after she had a one night stand. Don't get me wrong, she had a big heart, she stole there money so she could help out the people of New York.

This time, she was in Arthur Kirkland's bed, I guess the stereotype of the British being lazy lovers was false, very very false.

She woke up, about an hour before the sun rose. She was a prostitute, yes, but it was worth it. In the depression, she had to make money and there was no way she was going to marry some rich dude to be trapped and be polite.

She gently got off of the bed and looked through his pockets where his wallet was. She had hit the jackpot, one HUNDRED dollars! She decided to get twenty five instead, he would tell if she got more than that.

She stuffed it deep in her clutch and planted a kiss on his forehead before she got dressed and left, the kiss is her signature. Hey, if she did it that many times, she should at least keep track of it.

The city and the depression didn't make her heart open up that much. She need to do what she needed to do, she took the wig off and put it under the seat of the car she had, her daddy gave the car to her in 1928, about a year before it happened.

She shook of the thought and parked her car. Her friend Bobby Clark was waiting for her in his usual spot, he did what he could to get money, playing the blues in the streets, but it never got him enough for treatment. Luckily she had enough money, she smiled widely as she shook his hand.

He was confused by this, when did she smile? Then he saw his hand, there laid ten dollars, that's what they needed! He smiled just as wide as her, he said in his southern drawl "Doll, where did you get this much money?"

She grinned and said "Arthur Kirkland that's who!"

His eyes were wide, "Wait, Arthur _Kirkland_?"

"Yep, what, is that a bad thing?" _ asked.

He shrugged while looking at the money. "No not bad," He said, he looked up. "Just that, we share the same dad."

She was speechless, Arthur was white and he was black. But, decided not to judge, it would be hypocritical because of what (or more like who) she does.

She said "Well, hope it helps."

He smirked, he said "Oh _, you're an angel." and hugged her more friendly than lovingly.

He let go and she said "Just doing the right thing Bobby. I have to go, I need to help with the soup kitchen since I still have fifteen dollars left from him."

Bobby said "Yeah, I need to go to the hospital for junior."

She smiled, even if she had sex with a different man each night, it was worth it when she could see an innocent live for another day.

She hopped in her car and drove to the other side of town, she happened to spot one of her past customers, she put her head down. Of course her alter ego was the talk of the town, but her true side was the one that everyone knew and loved.

Word does go around fast in the big city, _ walked over to Doris who was talking with Brandy, the hot spots for gossip.

_ asked "Hey Doris, any news on Opalhue?" (her alter ego's name.)

She clicked her tongue. "The worst one yet."

Brandy stated "This time, Arthur Kirkland. But she didn't steal the usual dollar, she stole twenty five! Can you believe her? And she keeps it all to herself!"

_ shook her head in pretend disgust. She never could really act well when she talked, so it was best to shut up for now.

. . .

What surprised _ was when Arthur wanted that night to happen again.

_Good, he doesn't know that his money is stolen_ _ thought to herself. She agreed and the night was even better than the first for her. In the morning, she woke up, very early as usual and took her wig off, it's suffocating and it's starting to get ruined again. What she found weird was that a total of one hundred dollars was there again.

What could she do with twenty five dollars again? Maybe help with new shacks or bedding for the ones who needed it.

Arthur stirred a little, she froze in her spot. He was back to snoring and sighed in relief and she stuffed the money in her purse.

She heard a voice "You know love, if you asked nicely I could buy it for you."

She turned around and Arthur was awake, she had never been caught before, what should she do?

He smiled "Don't worry love," He said "Your secret's safe with me."

She said "Huh? But, I thought that you would-"

"Rat you out?" He finished her sentence for her.

There had to be something attached "What's the catch, are you going to blackmail me?" She said, unsure of his intentions.

He yawned, he stated simply "No catch, but it gets quite lonely in this house."

She found this true, she couldn't hear a sound anywhere when they would stop talking. She said "I can see that. And look, before you say that what I do is for selfish reasons, it isn't."

"Then what do you do then?" He paused "It won't make me think less of you or anything."

She climbed onto the bed. She explained "You know these are hard times that we're living through, I am kind of like a modern robin hood."

He blinked in surprise. He muttered "Interesting." Before getting under the covers again. She got under them too and they slept in until seven.

. . .

Because _ didn't have to get up at four like usual, she was bright eyed and ready to help anyone.

Vash, one of her neighbors in the shack neighborhood asked "What are you smiling about?"

She turned around and said at the grumpy man. She fanned herself with the twenty five dollars and said "Because I have this amazing fan!"

He was wide eyed, he hasn't seen that much money in a long while. But, due to his pride, he didn't ask for anything.

_ smiled at his reaction, she put it back in her purse, but got out five dollars and gave it to him. "Keep it, friends help each other out in these times." She said, and with that, she walked out and gave the rest to passing strangers and children.

. . .

This kept happeneing, _ would go to Arthur's, they would have sex, she got twenty five dollars and give it to the people.

But today, she decided to get herself something nice instead of just the necessities. She went to a fancy store and looked at all of the clothes. She came out with a new dress and a pair of new shoes and wore them out of the store. It felt so nice to buy something other than food.

Well, she couldn't until she met him, but as she looked around, she realized how lonely she truly felt. Sure, her friends would entertain her, but she guessed what she wanted was someone told her hold her, to dance with. All _ could imagine doing these things with was Arthur.

. . .

Arthur waved goodbye to her, for the fifth day in a row. Even if she did take a bit of his fortune, he was lonely, it pained him when he would sit in his house, maybe do embroidery or read. He felt more complete with her in his life, even if she only did it so she could have money.

He decided to ask her, maybe she could stay a little longer than the night.

He walked around the streets, many people asked if he could spare a dime, but he couldn't, he stingy. Maybe that's why he only allowed her to get away with a fourth of his money in his wallet.

He wanted to find her, he couldn't believe himself, he fell in love with a whore. No one would look at him the same. He could care less about what people thought about him, but what if she thought he was crazy?

It does seem weird to him, but it felt so right to him, even if his brain was saying 'don't do this!' His heat is screaming 'Yes! Don't stop!'

But was his heart only saying it because of his loneliness? It could be possible, but why was it so intensified? His heart would still be pumping, even hours after. Even what they did was unholy, it felt so right to him.

He caught her getting out of a store, he found it odd, but, if he was in her situation, he would get something for himself too. She found her eyes on him.

She wanted to find him too after shopping, but this is good too. She smiled and said "Hello Arthur." With a pleasant smile, changing her character from when he first saw her.

He asked "Um, _ would you like some tea, at my house?"

_ blinked, why did he want her there more than necessary? More importantly, why tea? She chirped "Sure, right now?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and said "If it isn't too much trouble love."

She shook her head, "Oh no, I would like that."

He asked "Really?"

She nodded and giggled at how he was so flustered right now. They walked to his house and he said "Have a seat love, tea will be ready in a few." She nodded while Arthur went into the kitchen. It was strange, she got to actually see small details in the house. Like how there was a Superman comic book on the table that had a folded paper on top, it read Alfred.

She almost forgot that Arthur was still making tea. She picked it up and smiled sadly, it reminded her of her younger brother, he loved Superman.

Arthur came in and said "Tea's ready love."

She looked up and put the book down gently. It smelled wonderful, unlike where she lived, the tea there was cheap and cold. But, the food looked like food from where she lived, burnt until it looked like coal.

_ drank some the and so did he. She asked "Arthur, why did you call me here?"

He froze for a second, but resumed breathing again. His face was pink, but kept his calm. "Oh," He said, trying his hardest to hide his nervousness. "I-I just wanted to beat my gums with you."

She didn't buy it for a second, there is no way he would be flustered now, especially what they did the past few nights.

She sipped her tea. "I know you're lying." She said to him nonchalantly "What's the real reason?" And she looked at him. He was frozen in place, yet again, she could figure out anyone's mind.

He said "I fell in love with you."

You could only hear the distant car drive by with how quiet it was. She did to, but would she really give up something like her friends? Helping people out?

"It seemed that I did too. I'm actually enjoying what we do and want to come back again, but not just for the money anymore." She said to him, with all honesty.

"Really?" He asked her for the second time today.

She smiled and nodded. "I noticed I've smiled more after I met you. But, can I ask you something?"

He asked "Sure. What is it?"

"Can I still help people out?"

"Yes, but I want to spend more time with you." He said to her.

That hit her like a bullet, he actually wanted to spend time with her? Not even her friends did, yet again, she barely knew what a friend was because of her parents being over protective of her.

"You do?" She asked, bewildered.

He nodded, "Of course," He said to her. "I wan to know what you like, what your favorite songs are, everything. If you want me to."

She nodded quickly. She threw her arms around him and said "Yes yes!" He wasn't used to people hugging him, especially her, all they would do is have sex and a gesture like this coming from her, was rare.

He smiled "You didn't tell me what you liked and what your favorite songs were."

She was surprised, but laughed a little. And she spent hours talking to him, he loved to hear her talk and it felt like she was more and more perfect with every word coming out of her mouth.

. . .

One day, _ was at his house looking through his records, but before she could choose, Arthur put a record in. She was going to wonder what it was until she heard the familiar horn and he sung with the record because she loved to hear him sing.

After the first line, they started dancing.

He sang "hodihodihodiho!"

She repeated "Hodihodihodiho!"

When the song was finished, Arthur was embracing her from behind and she had her eyes closed in pure bliss. She laughed. "You know," She said to him "I guess I'm a little bit like the girl in the song."

He thought this over for a second, he said "Well," He said "You do have a big heart dear." He kissed her hair and they still swayed to the silence in the house. "And I would give you anything love, even a diamond car."

She put her hand on his cheek for a soft kiss. "To think, two weeks ago, we didn't know each other and now, I'm living with you."

He turned her around, he looked into her eyes and said "I wouldn't have it any other way." Before giving her a kiss full of passion.

He was telling the truth, when he was with other women, they were never like her. All they did was talk about what was around the neighborhood, she talks about her dreams and the stars.

Arthur was very sweet to her, giving her a better place to live than where she was and spoiling her rotten, eating lobster every night and giving her necklaces with real diamonds. She gave him life basically.

_ loved Arthur, he had a big heart too. She gave up with giving money to people who needed it since the government was helping out a lot of people and she spread around a rumor that Opalhue was killed of pneumonia.

They did everything together, went to chinatown, rode in hot air balloons, sipped down milkshakes, they were in love, anyone could see it by how they looked at eachother.


End file.
